It’s easy for us to think we need constant improvement. We should expand our mind in this or that way, we should stay on top of current affairs, we should have better bodies, better attitudes, better relationships. We should constantly be improving, increasing our abilities, improving our appearance. We should exercise all the time and only eat clean, green, impossible to find foods. We should also work like super heroes and then make sure we get a solid eight hours sleep. We should go to yoga all the time and meditate an hour in the morning and an hour before bed because on top of everything else we also really need to improve ourselves spiritually. There is always something that we are doing that is wrong and some way we could find to better ourselves. We will never satisfy our exceedingly high expectations. Expectations that we would never hold for any other human on this planet.
This seems to come from a deeply held belief in many of us that there is something profoundly wrong and deficient with, or deep inside us. Maybe if we keep improving, keep trying to be better people then that deep, dark, awful, secret problem with us will never be known. Or maybe in our efforts to keep achieving A pluses in every aspect of our lives, we are just constantly trying to make up for that deficiency.
But what if that is all bullshit? What if there is absolutely nothing wrong with you? What if you changed your belief and instead started with the premise that you are exactly, exactly as you should be. That there is nothing you have to make up for, there is no deep deficiency in you, in fact, you are perfect, just as you are. From this place, it could change completely how you do things for yourself. From this place you go to the gym or yoga or whatever because it’s what you feel like, it’s what you want to do. You buy yourself what you and don’t deprive yourself because you know you deserve the things you want. You spend time with the people that make you feel good not the ones that make you feel insecure, scared or undermined. You don’t punish yourself for failing to achieve, for needing time to rest, for wanting chocolate, for wanting time alone or for needing help from other people. You understand that all of those things are part of being a human and really honouring yourself.